Hello again dear readers. Today we find ourselves on the brink of something new and exciting – a THRILLING DATE WITH OUR BELOVED IKKI. It would be sweet if I actually knew what the heck was going on in our relationship at all, but things just keep getting more confusing! Well let’s just jump on into the story, shall we?
well, well, well… look who decided that she’s able to come to work again finally! Goddamnit Mine why you gotta be so cute though, I can’t even be mad at you.
Wow well yes OF COURSE I’M GOING TO THEM, gonna hit up datesville with my sweet Ikki! I tell her as much, hitting home that her attempts at homewrecking were unsuccessful, and she tells me instead that she is actually going to the fireworks with BOTH of the two other guys at the shop. Literally WTF Mine you are dating two people at once? Please let me get on her level though srs
Yes you actually are Mine, but at least I can comfort myself in the fact that they’re consolation prizes for you. YOU GET TWO MEN SO JUST LEAVE IKKI WITH ME OKAY, JESUS.
Naturally the most important part of the date is MY OUTFIT.
Ikki is gonna doki doki for sure. PS orion why the fuck do you know anything about yukata AREN’T YOU A FAIRY DEMON OR SOMETHING
So I dress up and IKKI STANDS ME UP AGAIN FOR LIKE AN HOUR WHAT THE FUCK
Turns out Ikki LITERALLY has a fan club. A fucking fan club. A group of girls dedicated to him. What. HE IS AN ACCOUNTING GRAD STUDENT WITH A FANCLUB DOES NOBODY SEE THIS AS BEING WEIRD AT ALL ALDIASDGAOJ anyway he spends all this time with them and ignores me even though we had plans. What a TURD.
This SUSPICIOUS character (NOTE THE CONVENIENTLY PLACED PEARLS ON HER OUTFIT, OBVIOUSLY OBSCURING HER FULLY PERKED NIPPLES) is one of Ikki’s friends or some shit, and the LEADER of this lovely little fan club of his. I’M SURE SHE WON’T COME BACK TO BOTHER ME ANYMORE HMMMM wow even though you’re really bad at prioritizing me you are still good at giving me the dokis, sweet Ikki. Too bad he spent so much time flirting with his fan club that we can’t even get to the fireworks in time at the real spot, so we instead run to some nearby hill. Fucking LAME but what can you do I guess, part of the life of dating a celebr- oh wait HE’S NOT EVEN A CELEBRITY SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS NOT SUPER WEIRD THAT HE HAS A FAN CLUB.
Yes no crowds is the best when you consider that HALF OF THEM WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU INSTANTLY at least this way I actually get some attention from you, shiiiiieeeeettttt. He puts his hand on my hand and I think that things are gonna start to get FRISKY when all of a sudden..
WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE THESE THE ONLY TWO DIALOGUE OPTIONS
yes tickly shoulders is a sign of arousal in Japan, so I’ve been told
this mysterious timeline still hasn’t even been explained TOO SPOOBIDY FOR ME, like what is it, am I going to die? did we just have a bet? Is he gonna dump me? But then why does he talk about having to win me over???? BUT IF HE’S TRYING TO WIN ME OVER WHY DOES HE STILL HAVE THIS FAN CLUB ARGH THE CONFUSION IS OVERWHELMING anyway the rest of the date is pretty uneventful and he walks me home
THEN THIS BISH AGAIN. She insists that Ikki walk her to the train station, and I can either be a jealous bitch or not be a jealous bitch. Obviously I’m not able to compete with her dangly pearl nipples so I just let them walk. After all Rika YOU AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME I MAKE IKKIS SHOULDER TICKLE
Back at home I get a MYSTERIOUS UNKNOWN PHONE CALL
fuckin 3spooky5me, they follow up with some vague threats and don’t tell me what is going on or what they’re mad about, and NATURALLY I DON’T SAY ANYTHING TO IKKI OR ANYONE ELSE BECAUSE I’M A DUMBASS. Surely this won’t come back to bite me in the ass whatsoever…
THE NEXT DAY AT WORK I get visited by a green-haired man who knows just a little too much about my life…
How forward of you, mr stranger, why yes I am feeling relatively healthy today
THE FUCK MAN WHY DON’T YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU MEAN HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT IS HAPPEN
All my wtf right about now, but this guy is probably some magical fifth date option or something. In this storyline anyway, Shin is my coworker, Ikki is my sweet loverfriend, and Kent is his autistic classmate (needless to say his storyline is already unappealing). Haven’t met Toma yet, so maybe that’s comin up soon.. Anyway our conversation abruptly ends leaving me even MORE confused than before, and I go home to ponder my pointless life.
INCOMING PHONE CALL WHAT IS UP WITH THESE
Oh it’s actually that one chick that i’m actually friends with THANK GOD SHE CALLED. Turns out we have plans to shop tomorrow, HOW CUTE. Apparently also these plans are for a school trip that I’m going on, with.. the billiards club. I AM IN THE BILLIARDS CLUB. LITERALLY A CLUB TO PLAY POOL. WOW COULD I GET ANY MORE LAME, PSYCHOLOGY MAJOR PLAYING BILLIARDS I GOT A BRIGHT FUTURE AHEAD OF ME someone let me off this ride
yea and naturally Ikki’s gonna be the most charming ever
Sniffing some ulterior motives from my “friend” here, back up off Sawa IKKI IS MINE. Maybe. Who even knows, apparently I only ever told her that i hated him. WHAT IS HAPPEN. While we continue to discuss how she’s confused that I’m actually dating him because her memories of me talking about him are all of disgust, I get hit with an OVERWHELMING FLASHBACK
Ikki talkin about some date gamble or wager or some shit
What, who does this? Is this seriously what is going on? Is his ploy just to sleep with me? Are our sweet interactions seriously just him fucking with me to persuade me to sleep with him BECAUSE BABY IT’S WORKING but seriously though I’m very unsure of what my character was doing before the memory loss happened. 10/10 game writers, this storyline is hella angst inducing and actually pretty sneaky and/or spoobidy
As it turns out, this flashback is far too much for my delicate constitution and I PASS THE FUCK OUT
DUN DUN DUNNNNN OH NO WHAT IS HAPPENING? DO I SURVIVE THE FALL? DO I SURVIVE THE HUMILIATION FALLING OVER FOR NO APPARENT REASON IN THE MIDDLE OF TOWN? DO I ACTUALLY LIKE IKKI AND DOES HE ACTUALLY LIKE ME AND WHY THE FUCK DOES HE HAVE A FAN CLUB? WHO KNOWS! FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF “GODDAMNIT ORION THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT THAT MY LIFE IS SHIT RIGHT NOW”