Off topic Otome: Shall we Date?: Destiny Ninja (Mizuki, PART 3)

Aaaaaaand we’re back! Didn’t post yesterday because a whole lot of nothing has been happening in the story and I don’t want to use up all of my remaining little energy cake things. So here we go! Starting off with a “love note” from my apparently beloved Mizuki

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An apology look at that! Followed up with “don’t cry anymore” GEE THANKS really making me feel better

Turns out he is as bad at writing love letters as basically every other social activity.

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This is the dumb picture they have for chapter titles. What a joke. Here we can see his beloved companion, Ralph the shiny pink frog. There’s also some minigame-esque thing where you can dress him up. Good times!

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gee wow Hattori i wouldn’t have guessed that objects referred to as SACRED TREASURES were considered SYMBOLS OF POWER in your country so thanks for the heads up

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what come on mizuki I thought we were becoming friends

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but OH WAIT what is this a sudden flash of humanity? I’m not sure though how she saw him smile through that stupid bandana he has over his mouth. It’s all in the eyes I guess

This smile was in response to the chick saying something incredibly self-depreciating, so I think we are dangerously close to getting into a 50 shades of grey type scenario here

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welp. I guess this is how we flirt now?

please mizuki I am absolutely seduced by your overbearing ways TAKE ME NOW but seriously get fucked

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In feudal japan dumb hats are also a symbol of power, though less sacred than the mystical Three Sacred Treasures (which have remained descriptionless actually they could be books or statues or grapefruit or anything, I have no idea)

We meet this guy at our next camp – someone related to our gallant prince apparently. Our heroine determines, based on his creepy appearance I’m assuming, that he actually is not someone to be trusted, despite defending him earlier in a very heated argument (with Mizuki, of course)

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it would also be good if all of this 5 man army blocking your ascent to power got conveniently slain by the like several hundred man army you are suggesting they fight WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT

after some politics, your group is strongarmed into fighting a much larger force with what seems to be the perfect positioning as far as surroundings go. Princeman, WISE AS EVER, suggests that you go help scout the area since you have proven yourself able in battle with your masterful calming of the partys’ horses

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Mizuki for once actually coming in with some good, albeit rude, advice

Too bad it looks like he’s just crying wolf because he’s ALWAYS complaining about you coming along – I’m not sure how the PRINCE, trained in STRATEGY and BATTLE would think that bringing along a female armed only with her horse and her amnesia (a potent combination, I’m sure) is a good idea when you’re going into an already bad situation. But such is the nature of dating sims – everyone is absolutely batshit crazy

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even on just a scouting mission the bloodlust filled hyosuke must be accompanied with someone to keep him from just slaughtering every living thing he comes across

His response to this comment was “shucks” or something. Seriously. Also that guy is seriously creepin me out after this storyline and I can’t even imagine how they thought making him this sweetly smiling murder machine would entice people to choose him as their romantic interest next.

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Just some more casual conversation between me and mizuki – DID YOU HAPPEN TO FORGET THAT I HAVE AMNESIA I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO THE PRESIDENT OR WHATEVER IS OF COURSE I’M IGNORANT

He tells me that the prince considers me “his eyes” – since we both look rich, we obviously think in similar ways about the world around us

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wow thanks now I feel better about myself

Somehow these guys are desperate enough to ask my advice on how to attack the gigantic army holding the treasures. I look around at random things, “well what about the ocean” and they’re like “no that’s dumb because blah blah blah”; “well what about the forest”, “no you idiot they’ll hear us” and it goes on for a while until I am like HEY LOOK A DEER at which point I decide –

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That’s right! Creatures with the same number of legs have the same abilities. Heard it here first, folks!

The plan now (masterfully designed by amnesia-girl) is to ride the horses down this impossibly steep cliff that she saw deer hanging out NEXT TO (not even on it what the fuck) and attack from behind. Apparently the chick is also an expert horseman, as assessed by the prince who has known her for seriously like 48 hours at this point, and she is confident that she will “pick up” anyone that falls while trying to ride down the cliff. The surprise attack starts, accompanied by much yell-announcing by the prince, things like “Hey we’re attacking you now doesn’t that suck” which really defeats the whole point of coming down the cliffside. Their secret hiding plan for you, to keep out of the way during the fight, is to just sort of stand behind your horse and hope nobody notices you. I’m not even making that up.

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Yes please darkhoof protect me from MEN WITH WEAPONS jesus christ this plan is terrible

Inevitably, the enemy guys are like “oh hey there’s a lady behind that horse let’s capture her” so they do. My life is apparently much more valuable than THREE SACRED TREASURES somehow so the enemies escape with both me and the treasure, because our ninja party couldn’t get one without leaving the other so they… left both? Whatever.

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Enemy princeman! He’s way uglier than our beauty queen prince so you know he’s a bad guy

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wow an actual compliment, sort of I THINK I’M IN LOVE

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she is sad about being less important than magical artifacts but hey everyone just gets down sometimes I guess

Enemy prince takes her to this cave after being genuinely nice to her (and she also promises to not reveal his secrets or something?) and she mopes for a while that the ninjas she has known for less than a week are more concerned with getting PRICELESS TREASURE back than rescuing her. BUT SUDDENLY…!

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oh mizuki you do care!

Completely breaking character, Mizuki comes to my rescue on his onesies and declares that I matter way more than some junky bullshit antiques that nobody even cares about nohow ya hurrrrrrr?

There’s this CRAZY fight where mizuki, despite his declaration, still won’t damage the treasures but uses his chain thing to trip the bad guy. Take that, dummy! Evil prince then puts a sword to the chick’s neck and everyone is all super tense, at which point the girl has this moment of realization that she actually isn’t more important than the treasures and, in true Japanese fashion, tries to kill herself with the dudes sword (SO DRAMA OMG).

Everything just sort of falls apart after that, Mizuki is like who will I shit on if you die?! and tells the guy to just take the treasures. The guy has mad respect for the chick after her little self-neck-slit-stunt and produces a magical bloodflow-stopping leaf. Again – HOW CONVENIENT.

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Guess I’m a princess now! Cool!

The guy has been calling you a princess the whole time and saying how stout-hearted you are and blah blah if our side had you things would be different. Seems to me like there’s quite a lot of rather specific details about you that these random guys are absolutely guessing at (your horsemanship, your family background, your education, ability to judge strategic battle plans) and just sort of taking as truth. Oh well. My job is not to assume, it is to seduce Mizuki! And probably get those treasures back now actually… womp

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